This is not the doll you’re looking for…

Over at the Blogfathers’ site, there’s been some discussion about the evil that lurks at Toys’R’Us. But really, hello? The Death Star of toy stores? It’s ALL evil. And we’re ALL, at one time or another, sucked into its Tractor Beam. Who among us hasn’t flirted with the Dark Side, having been exposed to a) the promise of the sweet, sweet relief of rested arms (only gained once Baby has been put at the controls of standard-Death-Star-issue Command Center from which, presumably, she will blow whole planets to smithereens), or b) the plaintive cries of the child who is seduced by the glitter and glam of the playsluts – the Bratz, the Barbies, et. al. – who leer suggestively in the aisles of the Death Star.

I’ve no experience yet of the latter, as Baby still prefers bright simple colours and shapes and is (once settled down comfortably in my arms/the baby jail/Central Command) easily amused by any manner of object. But the day, I fear, will come, when she screams for something, in Dutch’s words, pink and slutty. Something else to keep me awake at night once I’ve exhausted my obsessive struggle against ugly baby gear.

But I have a weapon.

Meet Bicephala

This is not the doll you’re looking for…

Bicephala, or ‘Biccy,’ as she is known to her tight inner circle of friends, is the Cool Kid Around Here. She stays out of the politics of Baby’s world, and avoids the controversies and struggles for power that preoccupy most of the other toys (hello, Whoozit?). She just hangs back (yeah, there’s a pack of Marlboros tucked into that skirt) and observes, biding her time until she is needed.

And that time will come, my friends. Of this there is no doubt. When the Bratz and Barbie brigade loom on the horizon, she’ll be ready.

And she will Kick. Some. Ass.

10 Responses to “This is not the doll you’re looking for…”

  1. mavvric Says:

    Where on earth did you find a two-headed doll?! I’d worry that it would give Baby nightmares! *L*

    Regarding a recent comment you made about not being able to ‘suck snot’ because you are sick too…have you met the cute little green rubber thingy that can do that job for you, and keep your mouth much less…salty? Either way, kudos to you! If good mothering is based on what we are willing to do for our children, you are that much better than me because I cannot imagine EVER doing that for my son *LOL* (I think I just threw up a little)

  2. Christina Says:

    OK, I love the doll – where did you find it? I think I may have to get one for my daughter…

    Thanks for stopping by my blog! I see we have something else in common beyond having daughters – 2 Siamese cats! I adore my Siamese, and my daughter loves to play with them as well. Her first word was “kitty!”

  3. Her Bad Mother Says:

    Re: nightmares – have you seen Whoozit? Just one big blue face. And C.O.W.? Just one big cow head. The absence of bodies on creatures will, I think, be creepier fodder for nightmares. Besides! Such pretty heads!

    Re: where to get – NYC, or I’ll edit a link into the blog.

    Re: Siamese cats. Rule. The. World. Do you have pictures of yours at your blog, Christina?

  4. Her Bad Mother Says:

    Oh, and about the rubber thingy for snot? Tried it. Didn’t work. Desperate measures were necessary,

  5. mavvric Says:


    U better mom than me *choke*



  6. Dutch Says:

    Ha! Love it.

    For more BRATZ alternatives, check out these handmade dolls:

    You might as well take evil all the way (there’s no good reason to just be kind of evil)

  7. snowflakebebe Says:

    πŸ™‚ ! I love that doll, or dolls since she has 2 heads, I have no problem with the Bratz (obviously) but I love other dolls too. I have a doll that looks just like that but she is more black and purple colored, bought her ina cool shop in Seattle. πŸ™‚

    Bratz World

  8. Christina Says:

    You can see one of my Siamese here:

    And the other here:

    I have a blue point and a seal point. Both males. I had a seal point before them, also. I adore Siamese cats. Do you have pics of yours?

  9. Paul Adams Says:

    Hey, you have a great blog here! I’m definitely going to bookmark you!
    I have a x play site.
    Come and check it out if you get time πŸ™‚

  10. rups Says:

    Its a very good website.
    The topics are really interesting.
    We can share our views.
    wide circles

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